Perspectives on the emotions of the female group of educated spouses: Sexual harassment by acquaintance

Sorrowfulness and loneliness are frequent sexual harassment

Looking at the emotions of female groups

There are such a group of women, who are ill-fated, or are lost in middle age, or divorced in the middle age, and have to pick up the burden of care for the elderly and raise their children. However, it is not the hardships of life that make them suffer, but they also suffer from sexual harassment from acquaintances while silently bearing sadness and loneliness. Harassers, or neighbors of colleagues, or friends, or even relatives. This made them feel humiliated and indignant. The embarrassing situation of the uninjured women is indeed worrying. The stories of the four women who have lost their spouses in this article reflect the plight faced by this group from one side, and also reflect their self-esteem, self-love, courage and strength.

One of the stories: Captives who do not do "tenderness"

Oral: Ma He (a pseudonym), 35 years old, undergraduate culture, civil servants, widowed for two years.

After the death of her husband, the gay table at the middle school took great care of me and often visited our mother and son. One day, he suddenly took my hand and said, “You have suffered misfortune. I appreciate your hardships. If you like, you crave, I will satisfy all your demands...” I was shocked. How could he ignore it for years? The classmate’s friendship does not respect my personality and dignity. ! I pushed his hand away.

After my husband's death, the burden on my life has increased. At the same time, my spirit has also lost one's backing. I sometimes feel sad and lonely, but I have always stood firm in front of my friends. I was very grateful for his help, but I always thought of him as a good friend. I did not expect him to be so!

One day, he called me with a call and there was a kind of tease in Tenderness. I solemnly told him: "I have always respected you, and I hope we can cherish this noble and beautiful friendship. I am very grateful for your care. You should understand my personality, I can face all setbacks, will never indulge If you agree with me, I will respect you and treat you as an old friend."

After some time, he apologized to me: “Your words touched me. You are indeed a reasonable woman; you are right, and I apologize to you. We should always be friends.”

If I were to be a prisoner of his “tenderness”, the damage my heart suffered might not be cured for a lifetime. My rationality and self-esteem both protect myself and help friends to purify the soul. Women should have their own dignity and independent personality. If they lose their personality in order to find spiritual or life support, they will not be truly happy.

Comments:

The male student made such a request to Mahe. She did not respect her. And he has his own family. This kind of behavior is not only responsible for Mahe but also his wife. He proposed this kind of sexual demand beyond the limit, in fact, is a kind of injury and infringement to Ma He. Ma He’s approach was very sensible and rational, and the handling was relatively complete and proper. The self-respect won him sincere respect and deep apologies.

Story Two: Beyond Solitude

Oral: Wei Fang (a pseudonym), 40 years old, secondary school culture, a company accountant, widowed for 7 years.

I used to have a very happy home. Seven years ago, my husband was killed by the disease and left me and her daughter. I have been biting my teeth and struggling to support this home. A male colleague took good care of me and I am grateful to him. However, I have always maintained a boundary with him, but those who can do it themselves will never accept his help.

One day, he said he would talk to me. Unexpectedly, he even "implicitly" "advised" me: "Everyone has seven emotions and six desires, I believe you will not be an exception. Life is short, do not torture yourself so long as you say it, what kind of help I can help ,anytime is fine……"

After listening to him, a sense of humiliation occupied my heart. I feel that my self-esteem has been greatly hurt. I strongly suppressed anger and said: "I don't need to! I can transcend sadness, go beyond loneliness, and transcend the temptation of the opposite sex; I have my own happiness and pursuit and can grasp my life journey. Please don't worry!"

His words are an insult to me and a harassment. It is difficult enough for me to spend my days alone with my daughter. How do you always encounter harassment from these sceptical men? Since he has such a mentality for me, I should be more careful with his association in the future. If he didn't know what he wanted to do, he still attacked me and confessed to me. Then I had to answer him with a clear-cut attitude: "Please respect my personality!"

Comments:

This is sexual harassment between colleagues. The male colleague thinks that Wei Fang will be sexually horny. If she enters the house, she will be able to obtain sex partners outside her marriage. Wei Fang firmly rejected his unequivocal thoughts and was ready to deal with the next evolution. It was commendable! She has a clear-cut attitude to her ability to surpass her loneliness and overcome her difficulties, and she also shows that she will never accept the humiliation of "help." In doing so, she defended her dignity and personality. At the same time, she also proved her maturity and firmness.

Story 3: Encounter Rogues

Oral: Song Ping (a pseudonym), 30 years old, college specialist culture, bank staff, divorced for 3 years.

Three years ago, my husband and I divorced. He took the children. Since then, my days have not been quiet.

I live in a cottage. There is a 30-year-old unmarried man in the courtyard. His figure is short, and he does not have a good appearance and he does not have a decent job. After I divorced, he wanted to make friends with me. I didn't agree. After that, he began to constantly harass me. He not only tore up my letters, but also often cut off my lighting circuits, telephone lines or broken my meter, sweeping dirty things in front of me, pushing thumbtacks on my bicycle tires, stealing my clothes and so on. Even more exasperating, he always looked in my window and scared me not to open the curtains in the summer. He also often said something to me in spite of what he said. If I were to talk to him, his words would be even worse. Now when I saw him, I got goose bumps like a ghost. He also made rumors everywhere, saying that he had enough of me to play early and so on. I once also said that he was rightly jealous of him. He was particularly angrily jealous of him, but it was totally useless. I once looked for a neighborhood committee and they also talked to him about it. But he is still the same. I really do not know how to stop him from harassment.

Comments:

This man has used all kinds of methods to harass Song Ping because she has not been able to make love. She has no peace. To such a rogue, you don't have to be too angry, you need not be afraid of him, and there must be a sense of righteousness that does not disturb him, and does not put him in his eyes. At the same time, social assistance can also be sought. He must pay attention to what he has done in peacetime, seize some of his handles, seek the help of his neighbors, and report to him on the neighborhood committee and the police station, relying on social forces to restrain him. All in all, we must fight bravely while protecting ourselves properly.

Story No. 4: Rejecting the "care" of the father-in-law

Oral: Willow (a pseudonym), female, 27 years old, undergraduate culture, secondary school teachers, widowed for two years.

Due to her mother’s hometown in a foreign county, my husband and I stayed at her husband’s family after marriage. The father-in-law is the leader of the county, and the mother-in-law speaks to him. My in-laws have always been very satisfied with me. I also regard them as their parents and get along very well.

In the 10th year of marriage, my husband died in a car accident and I was distraught. Although my niece brother repeatedly advised me to marry again, I did not agree. I live with my son and my in-laws. I want to wait for my child to go to college and then consider personal issues.

Some time ago, my son and her mother-in-law went to the field. There was only my father and me at home.

That night, I sat on the sofa watching TV. The father-in-law came and sat next to me. After that, he began to move his hands and feet: "I've been in love with you since you came in. I was very miserable in my old age, and I was very miserable, and it hurts you to stay alone. It really hurts me..."

I was very surprised at the time, a bit overwhelmed, pushed him back to his room, he actually followed in and continued to move.

I was shocked and angry at him and said: "How can you do this, you are the elders! In doing so, how can you afford your son under the nine springs!" After I finished, I ran out of the house. It wasn’t until a few days later that my mother-in-law returned and I dared not go home.

I did not dare to say to my mother-in-law that she was afraid that she could not stand the blow and did not want her to be sad. I did not dare to say to my son that he did not want to let him know such a dark thing and damage his grandfather's image in his mind. I dare not speak to my family and dare not speak to my family, let alone to outsiders. How can such a family ugly be raised? I feel particularly helpless. I feel particularly depressed and become silent.

Today, the father-in-law still has not given up on me. There is often no meaning in the words, and sometimes it is an opportunity to take advantage of it. I want to move away, but I don't have my own house. Not to mention grandson is the heart of my in-laws. They certainly won't let me and my son move out alone. I have very heavy psychological pressure and I do not know what to do.

Comments:

For the willow encounter, the experts suggested that there are two solutions: one is to convince her mother-in-law as soon as possible to convince her to move out in isolation; second, if the development of the situation is no longer silent. Maybe Yang Liu is worried about taking her son when he is remarried and his parents-in-law will block it. However, the law stipulates that the widow's remarriage should take the child away. It is permissible to negotiate with an in-law or legally determine the custody of the son.

Before this, on the one hand, we must be vigilant and avoid individual contact with the father-in-law. On the other hand, we must not be patient with his actions. Do not feel embarrassed. Instead, you should bravely reject him. No matter how high his position is, he should not be afraid. He must be steadfast in his attitude and clearly admonish him: if he is an eldest, he should be more disciplined and not to hurt his loved ones; he must warn his son and his mother-in-law, or make a police report, if he does not converge. At the same time, at the appropriate time to give her mother some hints, let her pay more attention. You can even warn your father-in-law privately. If you don’t feel ashamed, take your son away. In short, we must sternly refuse to be vigilant and guard against viciousness and harassment against the father-in-law.

Concluding Remarks: Loss of love is not terrible. As long as you have enough inner strength and courage to pursue happiness, maintain your independent personality and dignity, dare to face up to it, and deal with intelligence, you will surely be able to step out of a new world and regain your happiness. The community should also give more attention to the group of women who have lost their spouse, help them out of the predicament, and re-energize the sail of life.

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